WINDOW LICKING tips:
WINDOW LICKING tips;
If you are interested in a career as a professional window licker,there are many opportunities.Just follow these simple instructions:
-Swill saliva around your mouth to keep tongue moist.Also, dribble down your chin to increase slideage across the glass.
-Daydream and have conversations with yourself in crowded places as this will increase your ability to interact without being distracted.
-Fall over a lot in public areas as this will form a close relationship with the ground (this is essential,as TRUE window lickers spend most of their time there).
|
LOOK AND FEEL MONG-TASTIC!
Now YOU can look like a REAL glass gliding window licker.We here at the WINDOW LICKERS FAN CLUB feel that the world needs humour,especially with all sweaty arabs blowing stuff up....anyway, now you can bring joy to people's lives as you stroll down the street with this exclusive special offer (for a limited time only).
BEV'S MAKE OVERS guarantees satisfaction...
avoid costly (and sometimes irrepairable) face resculpting and plastic surgery, when you can achieve that unmistakable mongo smile by simply running into a tree face first or looking under a bus....WHILE IT'S STILL MOVING!to see an example of BEVS fine work, see the picture below....mmmm, what a STUNNER!
And now, EXCLUSIVE to W.L.F.C,the staff at BEV'S MAKE OVERS are giving a free sheet of double-glazed glass!
Now you can perfect your window licker impersinations at home!
|
WINDOW LICKING tips Part 2.
-Walk sluggishly, sticking your backside out,and slumping your arms and shoulders forwards.Hold your head at a 45 degree angle, so you appear to be looking up.As an extra touch, drag one foot behind the other or turn your feet inwards.
-Keep your hair at at short length, in between a skin head and a feather cut.Don't brush it, giving the impression that your personal appearance is not important to you.
-Wear old track suits, or half mast brown corduroy trousers with multi-couloured stains down the front.To compliment this, wear white socks and allow them to be seen at the bottom of your pants.
-Invent your own language,which sounds like complete jibberish to the untrained ear.
Follow all of these steps, and once you have acquired the skill to do so, COMBINE them.With these simple steps, you are on the path to a career in WINDOW LICKING!
|
|
Home Page |
Photo Page |
Guest Book Page